


The Cruelty of Time

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Second War with Voldemort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-10
Updated: 2008-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-27 16:45:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10812912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: Averyshort drabble about what might of been going through Hermione's mind while at Malfoy Manor.





	The Cruelty of Time

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).
> 
> **Author's notes:**
> 
> Thank you to hysterical historian for the "beta buffing". *smiles* I read the books over and over and sometimes a favorite scene or episode just grabs me. I can only guess what a character is feeling at the time. This is from one of my favorite parts from Deathly Hallows. These are Hermione's thoughts before telling Bellatrix that the "Sword of Gryffindor" was a copy. This is my first attempt at a drabble...please be kind! 
> 
> *hugs*
> 
> missgranger2      

The Cruelty of Time

 

My hair feels as though it’s being pulled out from the roots. _Damn, but that hurts!_ With my hands bound, I find that my balance is off. My body is shaking and I swear I’ve never felt my heart beat so fast…I am frightened and I know that there is nothing I can do about it.

 

_So this is the end. This is how I leave this world and all those I loved._

 

Images of my childhood start to appear. I was four or five and I’m on a swing. My dad is pushing me higher as I beg him to do so. I can feel my mother’s delicate fingers in my hair, braiding it before I go to bed at night. Strangely, I can actually smell my mum’s homemade chocolate chip cookies and my dad’s cologne. 

 

A deep sense of remorse overtakes me.

 

Mum and Dad, I’m sorry if I ever disappointed you. I’m sorry I never got to say a proper good-bye. I wanted you to be safe and now I wish like mad you were both here so I could hug you, touch you and tell you how much I love you both! 

 

I look up at Bellatrix…her eyes are full of hatred…toward me! 

_How can somebody hate me so much? What did I do to her? Doesn’t she realize I have so much more life to live? Bloody hell, doesn’t she know I have loose ends to tie up! Please don’t take_ _me_ _now…give me more time to say the things I need to say._ _Dammit, Harry needs me! And Ron...he needs to know_ _things I’ve kept buried deep inside for so long!_

I feel the tears now. I’m starting to panic… _oh sweet Merlin- Ron doesn’t know I love him!_

I’ve been a stubborn fool when it comes to him. I was scared he would reject me…but right now I could shout at the top of my lungs, “I love you, Ronald Weasley!” and not give a damn who hears it! It’s always been him. And now the chance has been taken away and he’ll never _know_! _I’ll_ never know if he feels the same way about me!

 

_I need more time…I can’t possibly leave right now!_

 

Bellatrix raises her wand at me and I can’t help but feel I’ve failed all those I loved. _She’s going to kill me now._

 

So much for books!

 

Books aren’t going to help me now. Books aren’t going to stop her from killing me! What a bloody fool I’ve been! How naïve of me to think that all those bloody books held all the answers!

 

When she bellows “ _Crucio!”_ I feel like a thousand knives are stabbing me at once. The pain is overwhelming and like nothing I have ever felt before. I scream in agony. I want to put a stop to it, but I know I can’t defend myself without a wand. Suddenly, my brain has all but shut down and all I can seem to focus on is the bloody pain! 

 

I think I hear someone yelling out my name.

 

The pain has subsided just a bit before she yells “ _Crucio”_ again. Forget thousands of knives…it’s hundreds of thousands of knives tearing through my body now. I can feel the sweat seeping through my skin and I can’t stop myself from crying out as I feel like my body is being ripped to shreds.

 

I'm _sure_ someone is calling my name! I recognize that voice. _It’s Ron!_ What is it, Ron?! What is it you’re trying to tell me?! 

 

Is he trying to tell me he loves me, too?

 

I’ll never know if I don’t fight it. With every ounce of strength I can muster I’m going to try and hold on a bit longer. 

 

As if a fog has been lifted, I can hear Ron calling my name loud and clear now. Somehow he’s awakened my sense of purpose, of survival and of hope. He has given me the strength to be able to look up at Bellatrix squarely in the eyes. With a steely determination, I tell her without words that there’s no way in hell she’s going to end my life right _now_! 

 

I’m not done living _yet_ …I have so much left to say and do… _now_ just isn’t my time to go. 


End file.
